Celebration Time!

Another joyous birthday for Preston major – the man who has everything... apart from a house, a business or a family, that is. The day's events:

11:00 Mediation session with soon-to-be-ex-wife. Wot a larf!

13:00 Board meeting of M4TV Ltd. A dazzling array of talent as been assembled for the Prestons' latest business venture, including Mr Bruno 'Poptastic' Brooks and Mr Chris 'Hayfever' Prow – the chef that makes Gordon Ramsay sound like Delia Smith. (When recently chided by one of his few loyal customers for the 'pollen'-induced deterioration in his cooking, he replied: 'Fuck off you cunt'.) 

19:00 Inaugural meeting of the Whitchurch Gay Divorcees club at the Greyhound, Whitchurch. It was initially feared that the venue would be too small to accommodate such a large body of people. Fortunately, most of them are too poor to buy a drink. Large settlements all round!

Pip pip!